Before I opened my eyes I prayed the words, "What is it that you want me to eat?". Only a mere 4 days ago I started the food fast for "7". I have struggled adhering to it since day 1! Why is that? Sterling was sure I was going to fail and drop out and to be honest I was too.
The last few days I have been asking myself why am I doing this? There has to be a really good reason. I couldn't think of one. Mrs. Hatmaker makes great strides when it comes to her fast from her favorite foods. Am I going to too? Then someone said to me, "Are you sure this is what you should be focused on right now?".
I have been thinking about those words. I will say that I have not adhered to my original list of foods but what I have done is make a change in my diet. I have been pouring over blogs, looking up information on the internet, watching documentaries etc. I have been looking at how I abuse food instead of using it to nourish my body.
So today when I prayed those 9 words I felt like the Lord was leading me on a different path than my original plan of "7". I also realized that I NEVER prayed about the first plan! I haven't talked to my partner about this yet but I will. Instead of only eating seven foods for a month I am going to start by cutting out 7 unhealthy things that are in our diet. I will be more conscience when I shop and will only buy foods that are meant to enrich our diets not fill us with empty calories.
I have already ordered some organic products online which included some seeds for a garden. Each year we try a garden and are never really successful. This year I am committed to taking the time with my family to work on it. Growing food to live not living for the food.
Here are some things that are starting on the list. I don't know if I will only do 7 this month or if it will be more. I also don't know how long this will go on...meaning how long I will keep cutting out products. What I do know is that instead of throwing everything out and shocking my kids systems in one day I will slowly transition them. So this will stick!
No Dye: Especially Red 40 and Yellow 6 (we have done this before, it is time to get back on track!)
No High Fructose Corn Syrup (it is in EVERYTHING!)
Only Organic fruits and veggies
No sugary cereal (cutting out dye and HFCS will take care of this!)
Only organic peanut butter
No preservatives
Nothing with more than 5 ingredients (if the label has more than 5 we won't be buying it, unless it is like my cereal that I just bought. It is an organic flax cereal with about 7 ingredients. All of the ingredients are recognizable and good for you so I let it slide!)
Homemade bread- (I found out that most breads have more than 20 ingredients in them. I am going to try to make bread, we will see how that works.)
That is 8 items. Hopefully looking at food in a whole new way will help me to not abuse it. Not to mention my family will be so much healthier!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
The New Ride
Troy and I celebrated ten years of marriage yesterday! The last two years have been tough. Yesterday, milestones were met and it felt good!
We are currently in the process of fixing major issues with our home. Things that we have let slide because we just didn't have the funds to take care of them. Right now we are getting new flooring, new windows and repairing our foundation. These are all HUGE things. Troy said it best, "It feels like all the hard work is paying off."
Yesterday Troy came home early from work. He stopped by the car lot to have a look and found something that was very affordable. Now, let me start out by saying that he ALWAYS looks and there is NEVER anything affordable. We have friends that get great deals all the time and we NEVER can find these deals. About 3 years ago the Lord showed me that this was because it was not our time, yet. So with yesterday's great deal we decided to go for it. We knew that if it was meant to be that it would be and if not, like the thousand times before, God would shut the door. Well, He blew it wide open.
Troy bought a truck. He has wanted a full size, new to him, truck for so long. He has worked 7 days a week and has handed over every penny to the "Brown Family Fund". We have not been able to do anything extra with our money. We have used it to get by and we were doing poorly at that! Yesterday I was able to write a check and trade a car and he was able to drive off the lot in truck!
As a wife, it felt good to see my husband do something like that. There are parts of me that really wanted to get a family vehicle. Parts that are a bit envious of his new ride. But the part that is happy that he is happy is much bigger. We still will need to get a family car. My children have been blessed with really long legs and at almost 9 and 6 they are already running out of room in our little Honda. Plus I have plans for that car....for someone else. I know the right family car will come along and like yesterday, God will blow the door open and there will be a way.
I keep thinking of the words that He spoke to me, "Don't look to man. Look to Me." My eyes are upward, Lord. Thank you for your faithfulness to Troy and I. Thank you for your provision in our lives, even when it was not as abundant as we would have wished. It was always enough.
We are currently in the process of fixing major issues with our home. Things that we have let slide because we just didn't have the funds to take care of them. Right now we are getting new flooring, new windows and repairing our foundation. These are all HUGE things. Troy said it best, "It feels like all the hard work is paying off."
Yesterday Troy came home early from work. He stopped by the car lot to have a look and found something that was very affordable. Now, let me start out by saying that he ALWAYS looks and there is NEVER anything affordable. We have friends that get great deals all the time and we NEVER can find these deals. About 3 years ago the Lord showed me that this was because it was not our time, yet. So with yesterday's great deal we decided to go for it. We knew that if it was meant to be that it would be and if not, like the thousand times before, God would shut the door. Well, He blew it wide open.
Troy bought a truck. He has wanted a full size, new to him, truck for so long. He has worked 7 days a week and has handed over every penny to the "Brown Family Fund". We have not been able to do anything extra with our money. We have used it to get by and we were doing poorly at that! Yesterday I was able to write a check and trade a car and he was able to drive off the lot in truck!
As a wife, it felt good to see my husband do something like that. There are parts of me that really wanted to get a family vehicle. Parts that are a bit envious of his new ride. But the part that is happy that he is happy is much bigger. We still will need to get a family car. My children have been blessed with really long legs and at almost 9 and 6 they are already running out of room in our little Honda. Plus I have plans for that car....for someone else. I know the right family car will come along and like yesterday, God will blow the door open and there will be a way.
I keep thinking of the words that He spoke to me, "Don't look to man. Look to Me." My eyes are upward, Lord. Thank you for your faithfulness to Troy and I. Thank you for your provision in our lives, even when it was not as abundant as we would have wished. It was always enough.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Denying Self-It ain't easy!
Day 1 of "7" was hard! Hard only because I just wanted STARCH! Anything. As long as it was covered in salt! I made it to dinner and right before we sat down I secretly grabbed a handful of potato chips and ate them alone.
By myself.
Without interruption.
This is my problem! I like to eat just as much as the next big girl. But I really like to eat when no one is watching. It is hard to do when you have 3 kids. I find my self starting the washer so that the kids can't hear the rustling bag in the kitchen. I go through the drive-thru and shove it all down in the 3 minutes it takes to get home so that no one knows what I have done. It is a sickness.
I have read books, dieted, and even prayed that I would be skinny. The truth is, only I can control this food addiction. (Insert awkward Kum-by-ya (sp?) circle and introductions). I am a food addict. I live to eat...not eat to live. I have always done it. Even when I was a teenager and weighed 100 lbs less than I do now. My metabolism has finally caught up to me and now you all know I have a problem I can't hide it anymore. My physical being is reflecting my inner being.
As soon as something does not go my way or I feel the least bit stressed I turn to the one that will never let me down. Food. The thing is food is not satisfying. It never fills that void. It fills my stomach and almost always gives me chronic GERD. I am abusing my body, the one thing that keeps me here on Earth. So I do it in private so the rest of you don't know I do it.
Who am I fooling? No one.
My accountability partner in all of this was very disappointed when I told her about my slip. She is worried I won't last. To be honest, I am worried too. Yesterday I said I would rely on my Comforter instead of food but today I am not so sure. I guess letting everyone know that I am a food abuser is a good start.
Food Abuser. That is what it is really. I can say addict, but really I am abusing food and my body. Plain and simple.
So there it is. Wow, I can't believe I just put that out there!
By myself.
Without interruption.
This is my problem! I like to eat just as much as the next big girl. But I really like to eat when no one is watching. It is hard to do when you have 3 kids. I find my self starting the washer so that the kids can't hear the rustling bag in the kitchen. I go through the drive-thru and shove it all down in the 3 minutes it takes to get home so that no one knows what I have done. It is a sickness.
I have read books, dieted, and even prayed that I would be skinny. The truth is, only I can control this food addiction. (Insert awkward Kum-by-ya (sp?) circle and introductions). I am a food addict. I live to eat...not eat to live. I have always done it. Even when I was a teenager and weighed 100 lbs less than I do now. My metabolism has finally caught up to me and now you all know I have a problem I can't hide it anymore. My physical being is reflecting my inner being.
As soon as something does not go my way or I feel the least bit stressed I turn to the one that will never let me down. Food. The thing is food is not satisfying. It never fills that void. It fills my stomach and almost always gives me chronic GERD. I am abusing my body, the one thing that keeps me here on Earth. So I do it in private so the rest of you don't know I do it.
Who am I fooling? No one.
My accountability partner in all of this was very disappointed when I told her about my slip. She is worried I won't last. To be honest, I am worried too. Yesterday I said I would rely on my Comforter instead of food but today I am not so sure. I guess letting everyone know that I am a food abuser is a good start.
Food Abuser. That is what it is really. I can say addict, but really I am abusing food and my body. Plain and simple.
So there it is. Wow, I can't believe I just put that out there!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
"7"
I think I mentioned that I am reading, "7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess". This week, March 1st to be exact, I started the experiment with my friend Sterling. We are starting with Jen's month 1. Food. We can only eat 7 things for the month of March. Let me just say this fast is not something that Jen says everyone should do. She tried it and God took her to great places with it!
So 7 foods! This is what I picked...there are 8...don't judge!
Chicken
Apples
Peanut Butter
Total cereal (with milk)
Carrots
Cucumbers
Rice
These are what I picked. Did I mention I have two weddings AND a rehearsal dinner this month!!!! Geesh! I am very black and white so this could get a bit sticky...
I was thinking about this fast this morning as I was getting ready to eat my cereal (which by the way ended up being rice krispies). I weighed myself first thing this morning and while making breakfast I thought about the weight I could lose. I immediately had to catch myself.
This is not a diet!
It's not. But I know that if I make better choices and don't allow food to be my comfort but allow the Lord to be my Comforter than subsequently I will be more healthy and my pants will fit!
*Just a side note-I am on month 5 in the book "7". I am also in the midst of clearing out rooms for brand new carpet tomorrow. Talk about EXCESS! I am going to be in prayer about what needs to go and what can go back into the rooms. I have a feeling we will be letting go of a lot of JUNK!!
So 7 foods! This is what I picked...there are 8...don't judge!
Chicken
Apples
Peanut Butter
Total cereal (with milk)
Carrots
Cucumbers
Rice
These are what I picked. Did I mention I have two weddings AND a rehearsal dinner this month!!!! Geesh! I am very black and white so this could get a bit sticky...
I was thinking about this fast this morning as I was getting ready to eat my cereal (which by the way ended up being rice krispies). I weighed myself first thing this morning and while making breakfast I thought about the weight I could lose. I immediately had to catch myself.
This is not a diet!
It's not. But I know that if I make better choices and don't allow food to be my comfort but allow the Lord to be my Comforter than subsequently I will be more healthy and my pants will fit!
*Just a side note-I am on month 5 in the book "7". I am also in the midst of clearing out rooms for brand new carpet tomorrow. Talk about EXCESS! I am going to be in prayer about what needs to go and what can go back into the rooms. I have a feeling we will be letting go of a lot of JUNK!!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Spiritual Purge-Stand Clear!
I have recently started reading the book "7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess". I have struggled with all that we have for many years and have blogged about it about a million times! I have always felt like we had too much. Not that having stuff is not okay...it is the stuff that takes over your life. The stuff that consumes your thoughts and your hopes and your dreams. Jen Hatmaker takes the excess to the extreme! She goes on a radical fast from excess for 7 months. As I have been reading, I am halfway through month 4, I realize that I have let stuff become my idol. I let it rule me. I am consumed with clothing, tv, facebook and the like.
What should I do about this?
I have had the overwhelming feeling that I should purge my house. This has been a feeling I have had for a while but honestly am afraid to start. There is so much stuff. I am by no means a hoarder, or even a collector of things. Our family of 5 just has more than we need.
As I think about purging my closet of clothes that no longer fit, you know those jeans that are two sizes too small that you just know one day you will wear again (keep dreaming!), or clear my pantry of all foods that have more than 5 ingredients on the label, or take every toy down to the homeless shelter for less fortunate boys and girls, I wonder what is it that I really must purge? Is it only physical? Is is spiritual?
As I mentioned in my last post the Lord is working on my heart. He is leading me down new paths. I talked about roadblocks that He clearly set up. What about the roadblocks that I have set up? What part do I have in all of this? What am I doing that is keeping me from doing what the Lord has planned for me?
I know that I have some physical things. I have set up some idols before Him. TV, Facebook, anything else that takes away time from my Savior. As the days pass and as I continue to purge the physical I pray that I am able to purge the spiritual. It will be messy at times, this I know for sure. But I know that the Lord is good and that He will be my Cornerstone in all of this. So bare with me! It may get crazy!
What should I do about this?
I have had the overwhelming feeling that I should purge my house. This has been a feeling I have had for a while but honestly am afraid to start. There is so much stuff. I am by no means a hoarder, or even a collector of things. Our family of 5 just has more than we need.
As I think about purging my closet of clothes that no longer fit, you know those jeans that are two sizes too small that you just know one day you will wear again (keep dreaming!), or clear my pantry of all foods that have more than 5 ingredients on the label, or take every toy down to the homeless shelter for less fortunate boys and girls, I wonder what is it that I really must purge? Is it only physical? Is is spiritual?
As I mentioned in my last post the Lord is working on my heart. He is leading me down new paths. I talked about roadblocks that He clearly set up. What about the roadblocks that I have set up? What part do I have in all of this? What am I doing that is keeping me from doing what the Lord has planned for me?
I know that I have some physical things. I have set up some idols before Him. TV, Facebook, anything else that takes away time from my Savior. As the days pass and as I continue to purge the physical I pray that I am able to purge the spiritual. It will be messy at times, this I know for sure. But I know that the Lord is good and that He will be my Cornerstone in all of this. So bare with me! It may get crazy!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Roadblolcks
It's been a while. I have found myself consumed with life. I received my AA in Elementary Education and started my BS in Human Services 10 days later. The classes are shorter, a mere 5 weeks, and there is a lot more required of me. At the same time I had major surgery and have now been cleared to resume my normal work schedule. The kids still have school to get through and did I mention the house? Yes, the house. The place we live in that looks like we live in it! More so than I would like at times! All that and I am still a wife too. I have a loving husband that needs my attention!
Deep breath in......exhale.
God has been moving. I feel His Spirit prompting my thoughts and Troy and I have seen Him move mountains. Even with this I still feel a stirring in my spirit. I don't know what it is. Parts of me know. Then there are the parts that are so terrified that I dare not type it on a public blog for fear that I will be held accountable to my words.
Over the last year, I would say, the Lord has revealed big things to me. He has opened my eyes to His word. He has shown me His commands and I believe that I am now in a season that He wants me (and Troy) to act on them. I have been on fire. Ready to go. Wanting to do what He calls me to do but He has put up roadblocks. Literal roadblocks. He knows me all to well. He knows that I like to act without waiting on Him. So, He protects me. He blocks my path so that I can not screw up His plan.
There is so much I want to share. I am trying to will my fingers to type the words but alas, they will not. Lord, are you protecting me again? I know that soon I will share with you what He is doing.
As for now I will continue on the path with my Savior, waiting for Him to move the roadblocks and for His Holy Spirit to wave the flag allowing me to go forward.
Deep breath in......exhale.
God has been moving. I feel His Spirit prompting my thoughts and Troy and I have seen Him move mountains. Even with this I still feel a stirring in my spirit. I don't know what it is. Parts of me know. Then there are the parts that are so terrified that I dare not type it on a public blog for fear that I will be held accountable to my words.
Over the last year, I would say, the Lord has revealed big things to me. He has opened my eyes to His word. He has shown me His commands and I believe that I am now in a season that He wants me (and Troy) to act on them. I have been on fire. Ready to go. Wanting to do what He calls me to do but He has put up roadblocks. Literal roadblocks. He knows me all to well. He knows that I like to act without waiting on Him. So, He protects me. He blocks my path so that I can not screw up His plan.
There is so much I want to share. I am trying to will my fingers to type the words but alas, they will not. Lord, are you protecting me again? I know that soon I will share with you what He is doing.
As for now I will continue on the path with my Savior, waiting for Him to move the roadblocks and for His Holy Spirit to wave the flag allowing me to go forward.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
God is in the details
As you may or may not know I had a hysterectomy last week. This is something that I have known that I should do for a very long time. My doctor told me after I had Char that if my laparoscopy (that cleaned out the endometriosis) did not work then I would need to have a hysterectomy. This was a tough pill to swallow. I knew that we were done getting pregnant; just wasn't ready to take the plunge.
About 3 weeks ago I began having pain that was worse than normal. Something made me go to the ER. I did and found out that on top of the endometriosis I had fibroids on my uterus. I immediately broke down. I knew this was the end of the road. I knew that Dr. L would not let me go another month with this.
Sure enough 2 weeks later I had surgery. Before the surgery I prayed for peace in the decision. I knew God had other plans for us. I knew that this was best for my health. But I was just struggling with the decision. The day of surgery I woke up rested and at complete peace. This was the right thing to do.
Yesterday I received the pathology report from my surgery. The findings were significant for fibroids..duh. And then the big one I had "precancerous changes on my cervix". I froze. I couldn't move. I kept saying "What?" over and over again. Fear hit me immediately. I was reminded by a dear friend that I no longer had a cervix! They took it out!! And then she reminded me of how the Lord was in the details of this surgery. I went in for one thing but was potentially saved from something else.
I will still have to get tests done and she still wants to monitor me closely but I am so grateful that I had the surgery.
About 3 weeks ago I began having pain that was worse than normal. Something made me go to the ER. I did and found out that on top of the endometriosis I had fibroids on my uterus. I immediately broke down. I knew this was the end of the road. I knew that Dr. L would not let me go another month with this.
Sure enough 2 weeks later I had surgery. Before the surgery I prayed for peace in the decision. I knew God had other plans for us. I knew that this was best for my health. But I was just struggling with the decision. The day of surgery I woke up rested and at complete peace. This was the right thing to do.
Yesterday I received the pathology report from my surgery. The findings were significant for fibroids..duh. And then the big one I had "precancerous changes on my cervix". I froze. I couldn't move. I kept saying "What?" over and over again. Fear hit me immediately. I was reminded by a dear friend that I no longer had a cervix! They took it out!! And then she reminded me of how the Lord was in the details of this surgery. I went in for one thing but was potentially saved from something else.
I will still have to get tests done and she still wants to monitor me closely but I am so grateful that I had the surgery.
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