I better check myself....before I wreck myself!

Isn't funny how we learn something and then God makes us use it?  I know I have blogged about this before but seriously?!?!?!?! 

We are talking about the Israelites in our ABF. You know the story. Slaves in Egypt, plagues, freedom, Red Sea, countless miracles, a visual reminder of God's presence and then boom...GRUMBLING.  Oh ye of little faith.  What is wrong with you?

I'll tell you what was wrong with them and what is wrong with me...WE ARE SELFISH!!!  That's right. I said it. We are selfish.  We grumble in the midst of the miracles because when something doesn't go the way we want it to it stinks!  We want it to be all about us.  We want it wrapped in a pretty little package with a perfect bow.  Sorry. God is NOT going to do that.  Why? Because it is not about US!

Today was a hard day emotionally.  I spent the majority of my morning cleaning a house that has been neglected.  I then had to wait at almost every light on the roads when I went to drop my kids off before work.  Once at work my day took a drastic left turn.  I sat and cried.  I was so upset.  Why is all of this happening to me? 

I was told that I should read my blog.  I pulled it up and began to look at past posts.  I began to get mad.  I was mad because in the posts I talked  of God's faithfulness.  Faithfulness that I know good and well exists yet in that moment I had already forgotten.  I quickly realized I was GRUMBLING! 

The Holy Spirit convicted me.  I felt a tug at my heart, a need to repent. At the same time I received two separate messages from close friends asking for prayer.  Another reminder that the world does not revolve around me.  

Deep breath in......Thank you Lord.  You are faithful.  You are right. It is not about me.  I am selfish. I am sorry.  Lead me in the way that I should go. I want to live a life that glorifies you.  A life that lets others know of your love and saving grace. You are good and you are worthy to be praised. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Making Time

Making time.  Time for what? God?  If I really have to say that then my priorities are off.  I should make time for things like grocery shopping and showering.  Make time for a good book or planning meals. Making time for my Maker sounds so trivial and truly it is.  Not only is God my Maker; He is the Maker of all of the Earth.

The last two days He has woken me up very early.  I know He did because both times I was prompted to pray. Yesterday I pulled out His Word, today I just laid in my quiet dark room and prayed.  He is giving me time.  He knows that when the sun comes up life is busy and I am not disciplined to make time for Him.

This could be looked at as sad and pathetic.  You know, because I can't make time for Him.  But I will look at it in a different way. The Lord is faithful. He is persistent and for that I am so thankful.  I am so glad to have a Heavenly Father that wants a relationship so badly with me that He is willing to make time for me!  To nudge me before it gets crazy.  To remind me of how much He really loves me.  These are powerful things.

I am glad I am blogging again. Honestly many times I sit down to write and the Holy Spirit reveals awesome things to me as I do.

The Year of the Lord

Today I heard many speak about the New Year.  Many spoke about how last year was hard and how this year was going to be their year.  I found myself thinking the same thing.  I, like most, want to have a better year this year than last.  I would like to be more financially secure, a better mom, a better wife, house keeper, the list goes on and on.  I would like to lose weight and keep it off.  But I digress.

Anyway, I started thinking about the positive parts of last year and the resounding theme was the Lord.  He was there with me every time something hard was going on. He was always there.  He guided me through the rough waters and kept me afloat when I thought I might just sink.  2011 was filled with a lot less anxiety than in years past.  I can see that now, looking back.

I want a  better year for me.  But as a Christian I am quickly reminded that life is not about me.  It is about Him.  To want a better year for my own personal gain is selfish and unChrist-like. The Lord gave me a phrase today.  It is not the "Year of Christi. It is the Year of the Lord".

How comforting is that?  To me it is extremely comforting.  I know that I am not going to be free of struggles or trials this year.  I will NEVER be free of that as long as I am actively pursuing my Maker.  There is an evil one out there that is on high alert for those that follow the true Redeemer. 

I am taking Romans 5:1-5 to be my motto for this year.  This verse has been something that the Holy Spirit has used to gently remind me that I am not here for me but for Him. 

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. ² Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵ and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.