Decisions

Hey friends. I just thought I would make a quick post.  Nothing too exciting going on.  The Lord is still working on me but I don't have much to say about it right now.  This last week I struggled with pain from endometriosis.  The pain was a bit extreme from what it normally is.  I have been advised to have a partial hysterectomy and I believe that now I am finally ready to take the plunge.  This decision is huge.  It means no matter what I will not bear a child ever again.  I will no longer have a womb.  The implications of that are HUGE! I feel peace about it though.  I am confident that we are done "giving birth" to children, not done having children! I really feel like the Lord is going to grow our little family of 5 into something bigger but that they are going to come from somewhere else.  This is exciting to me.  The anticipation is a bit maddening at times but I am confident in the Lord. He has a perfect plan!

I don't want to learn a lesson today!

These last few weeks the Lord has really been dealing with my heart.  It has taken weeks because I keep going back to my old ways. 


Yesterday I was very irritated with our ABF, only because God was putting my issues right in front of me!  I hate that!  I really wish He would just free me of myself and let me go about life.  Alas, that is not how it works.  I know in the end I will be a better servant for Him, but now I am just not in the mood to learn this lesson. Not today.

Today the words "I have no mercy for you." came out of my mouth.  As soon as I said it I was appalled at my own self.  Surely, I would not want to be treated that way.  Yet I chose to treat someone else that way.  Someone that I love so dearly that I would give my life for. 

I immediately thought of how Jesus loves me the same way.  How He did give His life for me.  How He shows me NEW MERCIES every day! And today. I could not. I would not. Immediately I knew I should repent.  But those same old heart issues are there.  Now I know why the Lord is working on me. 

I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD, the praises of the LORD, according to all that the LORD has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to his compassion, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
Isaiah 63:6-8

I just love how God works.  He has been silent these last few weeks but He has not been gone.  He has been working on our behalf.  I know this because I have been at peace about everything.  I know this because in the last 24 hours some really cool and unexpected things have happened.  I just still can't believe how good He is. 

Things are still not settled 100% but the cool thing is that God is still working.  I know this because He has promised us He would.  He tells us so in His Word. 

Are you feeling down? Are you wondering where God is? Do you think that you are alone?  I know how all of your questions can be answered.  It is in His Word.  Even when you don't hear an audible voice, the pages of the Bible will speak to you with the power of the Holy Spirit.

Just wanted to encourage someone today!

Just Live

A few days ago I posted about how the Lord has been quiet.  I was still feeling at peace about everything, I just didn't know if I was supposed to be doing anything.  We all think of that analogy that you hear about the man on the roof in a flood.  Three different people come to save him, but he turns them all away saying God will save him.  Subsequently he dies. When he gets to heaven he asks God why didn't he save him, and the Lord says, "I tried 3 times". I don't want to have the same thing happen to me. 

I was reminded by my mom yesterday about the Israelites in Babylon.  They were in a bad spot but God told them to just live. They weren't to do anything.  Just go on with life.  We all know that they were rescued.  They were His chosen people.  I am saved by the blood of Christ and now that I have been adopted into His family, I am chosen. He will save me.

The Lord is faithful.  On Friday, Troy was able to talk to someone about our house situation.  The person said that we had a very good chance of getting this resolved.  He also stated that at the moment we needed to just wait.  Hmmm....just live? Okay, Lord.  I will do just that. 

Silence

Yesterday I was talking to my sweet husband about our situation.  I was asking him what he felt like the Lord was telling him, if anything.  He didn't know.  He was not hearing anything.  This is something that we both agree on.  I have not heard anything from Him either.  It is weird.  It is so quiet.  2 weeks ago the Lord laid a huge burden on my heart and after praying about it Troy and I were both in agreement about it.  Let me tell you that this is a LIFE CHANGING thing.  But as soon as we said "Yes, we will do it", the Lord went silent. 

The even stranger thing about this whole scenario is that both Troy and I are at peace.  It is so bizarre.  You would think that not hearing from God (especially after he asks you to do something) would be nerve racking.  But it hasn't been. 

I feel like we have just been going through the motions since then.  Doing what little we can in preparation for these changes.  I am trusting that the Lord is going ahead of us down this new path, paving it for us.  Preparing the hearts of those that we will encounter.  When you think about it that way it is pretty darn cool! 

This blog is about my journey with the Lord.  It is not always easy.  Not because of Him but because of me.  I think that once you realize that it makes the journey so much more smooth and enjoyable.

By the way, I know I am being cryptic.  I have shared with only a few friends what the Lord has called us to do.  We have not told everyone yet because I don't feel like we are supposed to yet, so stay tuned! :)

Learning to Pray

Our pastor is doing a series called "Facetime".  In this series he is teaching us how to pray.  He is challenging us to pray a "Spirit led, Scripture fed" prayer life.  He has told us to never enter a prayer without our Bibles. He has taught us to recognize who God is in the Word and then how to respond.  This has been a huge learning experience for me.  This has taught me to seek His face and not His hands.  Sure God can give me anything but what He really wants to do is give me a relationship.  It has been really good.

I know the Lord is calling us in new directions.  I feel it.  I just don't have a clear word from Him yet.  Troy and I are in a holding pattern.  It can be tough to be in that place sometimes.  I am just trying to trust and let Him take care of the details.

Want a Quilt? A fundraiser for ADOPTION!

My best friend, Mindy, is adopting a sweet sweet boy in a couple of weeks. He is so precious.  His name is "Frank" but it will soon be Henry.  He is only 2 months old and his parents are here on work visa's.  They love little "Frank" but you see he has Down Syndrome.  In China, people who are a little different are not accepted.  He will never be allowed to go to school.  He will not be allowed to be seen in public.  His birth parents love him so much they are willing to give him to a family that will love him and give him the best life! 

Adoption costs money.  The Lord called and the Churchill's said "YES!". They didn't know how they would raise the funds but the Lord does. So right now you can check out their fundraiser.  Mindy is an awesome quilter!  Please check out her blog.  You can win one of 4 quilts!!!!  I LOVE those odds!  I have one of her quilts and let me tell you....I LOVE IT!!!! 

Thank you for considering!!!

The Lord Works

The Lord has been so good to me.  I have been down some windy paths but He has always been before me holding a torch when it was dark.  Recently He has began working in the hearts of both Troy and I.  There are big changes coming.  Nothing I can talk about now.  But soon. Real soon.