I had a moment of panic over the Thanksgiving holiday. The Lord has called us to something HUGE! I mean life changing, people may not understand, this is gonna cost a ton of money, HUGE! The thing is He called us in the middle of this foreclosure and transition time with jobs. It makes no sense. Well, at least not to us!
Over the last several months the Lord has broken our hearts for what breaks His. He has shown us the immoral acts against children in this world. He has shown us the orphan that is not being cared for. He has called Troy and I to do something about it. At this moment we are looking into international adoption. More so a really large country in Europe that I won't name at this time. He has put a beautiful little girl on our hearts that has an extra chromosome. Because of this she is unwanted. But the Lord reminds us that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. She is older, 6 to be exact. She has never had a Mommy or Daddy. Who knows if she has ever felt love. This is a large step of faith for us. This is going to cost more money than Troy makes in a year. So how can we do this?
As soon as we felt like this is where we should go I began researching. Y'all let me just tell you the cost of the adoption is really a ransom. That is what I have come to understand. There are fees every which way and they are at times ridiculous, but they are necessary to free her from a life without love and affection from parents and siblings. As I called agencies and talked to others about all of this I was immediately overwhelmed. The reality set in that we would have to wait until our house situation was settled. Surprisingly we make more than enough money to qualify for adoption in her country, we just need to have some things sorted out first to show stability.
She will have to wait. She has been waiting for almost 7 years. My heart breaks.
I confronted my sweet husband with my sadness this past week. I am sad because she may not still be there when we are ready. She is waiting and we are just sitting here. Well, not really but it sure feels that way. What to do? I blamed my sweet hubby for this all. I said he didn't really want her and that is why we were at a stalemate. Then with love and tenderness he directed me to the real reason we were waiting. It wasn't finances, it wasn't our house, it wasn't the car that only fits 5, it wasn't his job. It was God that we were waiting for. He had broken our hearts and had given us a face. He just hasn't said "Go".
Each day I look at her picture. Making sure she is still available. She is. Hopefully for us but it could be for another reason. This path is so uncertain to us that it can be completely overwhelming. As I stated in my post yesterday; I am going to rely on the Lord because I just mess it all up when I try to fix it. So if you think about it pray for us and the sweet little girl thousands of miles away without a Mommy and Daddy.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
It's not what I thought....
but I'll take it! We have been going through a lot of rough financial things this last year. It has been almost a constant struggle. God was always in control and He gave us a little boost whenever we needed it most. I truly believe that He allowed us to struggle so that we would learn to rely on Him. For almost 10 years I have wondered why He would allow these extreme lows with our finances but I finally have figured it out. It was all about God wanting to care for us directly.
As a human with a sinful nature I have learned to rely on myself. I am imperfect and as a result my life has been nothing short of a disaster at times. Learning to rely on the Lord, the One whom is perfect in all ways, I have begun to realize has made my life a whole lot less stressful. Knowing that the outcome is in my Maker's hands is so comforting.
Recently we have been fighting a foreclosure on our home. This is the second one in less than a year. Although Troy is working two jobs our income is not enough to get us through each month with a very large mortgage payment. There were times in this process I was mad at ourselves for choosing to buy this home. But the Lord reminded me that we were prayerful and that we were obedient to Him in buying this home. Also, when we bought this home we were both working full time and making 3 times what Troy is making now. So we didn't go outside of our means.
These are all things that have been going through my head. But the Lord has been faithful. He has remained steadfast with us. He has not forsaken us. He promised me that this "is not a season of foreclosure". He used others to encourage us along the way. Not once in this time did a big check come in the mail. Not once did I ask others for help. The Lord led us. He told us what we could and couldn't share with others. He told us not to take this out of His hands. Trust. That is what He wanted.
In September, we were able to file for assistance through our bank. We did and never heard back. We were very frustrated. But we knew that we should keep waiting. Everything in my being said do something about it. FIX IT!! But the Holy Spirit said "Wait.". So we did. The Lord put people directly in our path that helped us through this process. People that we didn't even know existed (since our last foreclosure experience was so bad). There were weeks when we did not hear ANYTHING from ANYONE not even the Lord. The whole entire time there was nothing but peace. Troy and I knew that He was in control.
After months and months we have been approved for a trial mortgage modification. This is not what we expected. At this point it is moot anyway, because I have a job, essentially I am doubling our income. We will no longer qualify after this trial period. What I do know is that this all had to happen to keep us in our home until I could start working. God is in the details.
I know this was a long post but I really felt the Lord wanted to me to share this really cool story. There is so much more but these are some of the good parts!
As a human with a sinful nature I have learned to rely on myself. I am imperfect and as a result my life has been nothing short of a disaster at times. Learning to rely on the Lord, the One whom is perfect in all ways, I have begun to realize has made my life a whole lot less stressful. Knowing that the outcome is in my Maker's hands is so comforting.
Recently we have been fighting a foreclosure on our home. This is the second one in less than a year. Although Troy is working two jobs our income is not enough to get us through each month with a very large mortgage payment. There were times in this process I was mad at ourselves for choosing to buy this home. But the Lord reminded me that we were prayerful and that we were obedient to Him in buying this home. Also, when we bought this home we were both working full time and making 3 times what Troy is making now. So we didn't go outside of our means.
These are all things that have been going through my head. But the Lord has been faithful. He has remained steadfast with us. He has not forsaken us. He promised me that this "is not a season of foreclosure". He used others to encourage us along the way. Not once in this time did a big check come in the mail. Not once did I ask others for help. The Lord led us. He told us what we could and couldn't share with others. He told us not to take this out of His hands. Trust. That is what He wanted.
In September, we were able to file for assistance through our bank. We did and never heard back. We were very frustrated. But we knew that we should keep waiting. Everything in my being said do something about it. FIX IT!! But the Holy Spirit said "Wait.". So we did. The Lord put people directly in our path that helped us through this process. People that we didn't even know existed (since our last foreclosure experience was so bad). There were weeks when we did not hear ANYTHING from ANYONE not even the Lord. The whole entire time there was nothing but peace. Troy and I knew that He was in control.
After months and months we have been approved for a trial mortgage modification. This is not what we expected. At this point it is moot anyway, because I have a job, essentially I am doubling our income. We will no longer qualify after this trial period. What I do know is that this all had to happen to keep us in our home until I could start working. God is in the details.
I know this was a long post but I really felt the Lord wanted to me to share this really cool story. There is so much more but these are some of the good parts!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Psalm 3:5
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Eternal Thankfulness
On Facebook everyone, including me, has been counting days of thankfulness. Each morning when I log on I think of something that I am thankful for. Some days it is harder than others. There is always something to be thankful for we just have to intentionally look for it sometimes.
This got me thinking. Am I intentionally looking at what I can be thankful for (outside of the month of November)? Do my actions reflect that I am truly thankful? Am I teaching my children to be truly thankful? These are all good and serious questions. The repercussions of the answers can be life changing.
So what is the answer?
For me, I go in waves. There are times when I can't help but see how blessed I am to have even been created. Then there are those days when staying in bed with the covers pulled over my head sounds much better. There is an ebb and flow; I guess. Isn't that human nature? You know the sinful part of us?
A dear, sweet woman from church passed away on Thursday. As I think about her life my thoughts naturally drift to her new life in heaven. She is now with Jesus. She is spending eternity with the One who saved her. Talk about thankfulness! Eternal thankfulness.
Thankfulness is something that is chosen while here. It is intentional. I believe that when we are in heaven at the feet of Jesus our thankfulness will be much more than just an intentional act. It will flow from us without any reservation. I don't even think we will be able to stop it. It will be that eternal thankfulness. So I ask myself and you this....Can we have eternal thankfulness on Earth?
This got me thinking. Am I intentionally looking at what I can be thankful for (outside of the month of November)? Do my actions reflect that I am truly thankful? Am I teaching my children to be truly thankful? These are all good and serious questions. The repercussions of the answers can be life changing.
So what is the answer?
For me, I go in waves. There are times when I can't help but see how blessed I am to have even been created. Then there are those days when staying in bed with the covers pulled over my head sounds much better. There is an ebb and flow; I guess. Isn't that human nature? You know the sinful part of us?
A dear, sweet woman from church passed away on Thursday. As I think about her life my thoughts naturally drift to her new life in heaven. She is now with Jesus. She is spending eternity with the One who saved her. Talk about thankfulness! Eternal thankfulness.
Thankfulness is something that is chosen while here. It is intentional. I believe that when we are in heaven at the feet of Jesus our thankfulness will be much more than just an intentional act. It will flow from us without any reservation. I don't even think we will be able to stop it. It will be that eternal thankfulness. So I ask myself and you this....Can we have eternal thankfulness on Earth?
Friday, November 18, 2011
Friends for a Season
It has been a while. Lot's of things going on here. I am gearing up to start at The Creator's Kids. It has kept me really busy. We have had new developments on our home/financial situation. We are doing pretty well actually. Just busy.
I have noticed a change in relationships this past season in my life. I have some really great friends. There have just been changes. I went to a surprise birthday for one and as I sat around the table and looked at each one of the ladies I realized that it had been way too long since I had spent time with them. I used to do life with them and that has changed for one way or another. Sad.
Today I spent time with a friend that I simply cherish. She has such a heart for the Lord. I am glad He has placed her in my path. She and I talked for a long time and just shared with each other our struggles and our lives.
I don't feel as though I have lost any friends at all. I just feel like some relationships have changed. I know that is okay, just a little sad when you first think about it. I truly believe that God places people in your life at the right moment to fit whatever season you are in.
I love that about Him.
I have noticed a change in relationships this past season in my life. I have some really great friends. There have just been changes. I went to a surprise birthday for one and as I sat around the table and looked at each one of the ladies I realized that it had been way too long since I had spent time with them. I used to do life with them and that has changed for one way or another. Sad.
Today I spent time with a friend that I simply cherish. She has such a heart for the Lord. I am glad He has placed her in my path. She and I talked for a long time and just shared with each other our struggles and our lives.
I don't feel as though I have lost any friends at all. I just feel like some relationships have changed. I know that is okay, just a little sad when you first think about it. I truly believe that God places people in your life at the right moment to fit whatever season you are in.
I love that about Him.
Monday, November 7, 2011
It's hard to celebrate....
a birthday or a milestone in life when there are an estimated 163,000,000 orphans in the world! That is such a staggering number!
Yesterday the kids and I went to a birthday party. My friend did a FANTASTIC job with the theme. It was really cute. Her son loves the Fresh Beat Band. She had several instruments, music and even color sheets with the characters on them. The kids had a blast. When it came time to open presents I watched as each child (there were between 15 and 20) eagerly waited for the little boy to open ALL of his presents. They were all so excited and squealed as he tore the paper. The look on their faces was shear joy.
Sadness struck. I fought back tears. Thinking of the children who have NEVER had a birthday party. Children who have NEVER received a present. If we choose to adopt a child from an orphanage will that child even know what to do with a box wrapped in shiny paper? Will they even understand children coming over and singing to them and then scarfing down an endless amount of cake and ice cream? Do they know what cake is? Do they know that celebrating the day of your birth is significant?
I am not by any means saying it is bad to celebrate your birthday. But it is bad to turn your back on the orphans of this world. Maybe you will adopt. Maybe you will foster. Maybe you will be a safe home. Maybe you will send money. Maybe you will pray. You have to do something. The Lord commands it.
What will you do?
Yesterday the kids and I went to a birthday party. My friend did a FANTASTIC job with the theme. It was really cute. Her son loves the Fresh Beat Band. She had several instruments, music and even color sheets with the characters on them. The kids had a blast. When it came time to open presents I watched as each child (there were between 15 and 20) eagerly waited for the little boy to open ALL of his presents. They were all so excited and squealed as he tore the paper. The look on their faces was shear joy.
Sadness struck. I fought back tears. Thinking of the children who have NEVER had a birthday party. Children who have NEVER received a present. If we choose to adopt a child from an orphanage will that child even know what to do with a box wrapped in shiny paper? Will they even understand children coming over and singing to them and then scarfing down an endless amount of cake and ice cream? Do they know what cake is? Do they know that celebrating the day of your birth is significant?
I am not by any means saying it is bad to celebrate your birthday. But it is bad to turn your back on the orphans of this world. Maybe you will adopt. Maybe you will foster. Maybe you will be a safe home. Maybe you will send money. Maybe you will pray. You have to do something. The Lord commands it.
What will you do?
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