Break my Heart for What Breaks Yours

I am broken hearted.  I am burdened.  I am so very very sad. 

This world is filled with millions of orphans.  Whether they are in the United States of far off in a land that you have never been. They are there. Their nationality is irrelevant.

What is like to never feel love? What is it like to never feel the human touch for anything other than a quick diaper change and a feeding? What is like to be made to stay in your bed for 24 hours a day? What is like to cry and have no one to respond?  What is it like to not know hope?  To not know that Jesus loves you?

These are things that are happening. Right now. This hour. This minute as you read my post.

Yesterday I broke down.  The thought of Celine going to an institution because no one will answer the call of the Lord and adopt her.Or Kennedy and Danielle who have already transferred to an institution. How can this be happening?

It hit me that if these feelings of sadness were this overwhelming for me, how did my Heavenly Father feel?  These babies are made in His own image.  How does He feel when He sees them sinned against on a daily basis? What about those that do not get to be adopted? Those that go to die a slow painful death in an institution somewhere. 

Then I remembered something that He taught me on Sunday.  He is Omniscient.  He knows all that was, is and will come!  He has a plan.  Some of these children will not be saved. But many of them will.  I don't know if it will be me or if it is YOU. 

But what I do know is that the Lord has broken my heart for what breaks His. I beg you to ask Him to do the same thing. What will you do to help these orphans? Please look at Reece's Rainbow.  Please consider adoption. Just look at the faces.  Don't look or think about the dollar amounts.  God has unlimited funds.

I know I am crazy!

I am not going to lie.  In the midst of all of this uncertainty I have lost my mind!  Well, at least it may look that way! I have been reading blog after blog about orphans overseas.  I have been heartbroken and torn as to what to do.  I have wanted to jump on a plane and just go over there and rescue them all.  Reading Radical hasn't helped with these thoughts either!

I can't!  I don't have the 10's of thousands of dollars.  I am in the midst of my own chaos right now with our home and job situation.  What the heck!?!?! Then today as I read a blog about a sweet sweet family I realized that this is not something that can't be done.  Why?  Because God is bigger!  I don't know what Troy and I are going to do.  I did find a little girl on Reece's Rainbow that is almost fully funded.  That means that  other people have donated enough money to her so that a family can adopt her.  She is beautiful and my heart melted when I looked at her beautiful face.  She is 6.  She needs a Daddy and a Mommy. 

So I know I am crazy! If you see me in the hall I don't need you to tell me! The Lord is going to have to do big things for us if we are going to try this road.  But it is kinda exciting! Even if it is only a dream right now!

Fasting and Answers

I have never truly fasted from food.  I have never really tried.  But in all of the craziness going on in our home I felt that I needed to.  I don't know what I expected to get from it but I just felt like maybe God would answer my prayers more quickly. 

I fasted for one day.  It was hard at times but I got through it.  Towards the end I felt like fasting for an answer that day was not going to happen.  I really think this realization was from the Lord.  But what I did get was clarity. 

We sang a song in church on Sunday.  The chorus goes:

I'm running to your arms
I'm running to your arms
The richness of your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to your embrace
Light of the world forever reigns.

The line that says "The richness of your love will always be enough" was the only the thing that I could think of during this time of fasting.  Any underlying anxiety I had was completely wiped away.  And one day later the Lord opened a huge door!

I am so thankful for a faithful God.  Here is a song that I just love!


"If I call, will You come
When I cry, do You hear
I believe every tear
Is caught up by a faithful God
So I will cry until You come
Cast my cares into Your arms
I can't see past this storm
But I'm counting on a faithful God

Faithful God
You hold my life secure
All my days are Yours
I believe
My God is like a fire defending me
Faithfully

I believe You still heal
And demons still bow
I'm convinced there is power
In trusting in a faithful God
So I will praise till You appear
And set Your foot upon this shore
I declare that every foe
Is subject to my faithful God

I know that You are mine
And I am Yours, I am Yours
I know Your faithfulness
It will endure, it will endure"

Bring it!

Right after I posted about how I was at peace with what the Lord was doing something new happened.  Our plumber (who is a good and trusted friend) told us that we had to take out our entire shower and replace it.  It has been leaking and has caused a lot of damage.  Luckily he is going to help and the cost although not cheap is minimal compared to what we could have had to pay.

I immediatly thought of my blog.  I thought of how I had just told the world that I felt that peace that passes all understanding.  How I was trusting the Lord fully and then moments later I find this out!  I thought about never blogging again.  Never telling another soul about what God was or wasn't doing.  I was just going to go silent. 

And then the Lord reminded me of Job.  Last week we read the first chapter of Job.  Poor Job.  He was the only righteous man in all of the east.  Imagine that!  Yet when Satan came crawling in before the Lord, God offered him Job.  Satan was allowed to do anything he wanted but he had to spare Job's life.  So the enemy does what the enemy does.  He killed his children, livestock and servants.  Leaving Job broke and without a family.  Still Job remained faithful.  He cried out to God but he did not waiver in his faith.  A second time Satan came back and God asked, "Have you considered my servant, Job?".  So Satan gave Job a horrible disease that caused him to have painful boils.  Through all of this he was faithful.  And here is the part that stuck out to me. The part where the Lord said "Listen up!".  Job's wife told him to curse  God and die.  She thought that if he did then his misery would end. 

For a split moment I thought that if I just kept silent my misery would end.  God does not call us so that we can have an easy life on earth!  He calls us so that we can love Him and others.  And when we do that Satan HATES us for it!  I woke up this morning with an encouraging email from my sweet friend telling me that last night the Lord showed her that she was going through her own struggles for His glory.  She wanted to encourage me in my struggles as well.  God is so good!

So I WILL NOT curse God and die!  I will continue to share His goodness with others!  I have two words for the enemy...BRING IT!  I am already covered in the Blood of Christ.  You may attack but in the end...we win!

Just Peace

With all of the stuff going on it can get a little hectic.  I can start to feel a little overwhelmed at times.  The Brown's are going through some really big things right now.  Last night I was with friends and of course they all want to know how I am doing and how the family is.  They all want to know if everything is better.  Well, it is not! But as I told my friends about what God was doing (even if I can't see it yet) and how much I trusted Him in this storm a huge peace came over me.  I realized as I was talking that I truly believed what I was saying.  I truly believed that God was in control and that He was taking care of me.  It was a really good feeling.  No anxiety. No depression.  No worry.  Just peace. 

Faith over Feelings

September 2, 2011 Faith over Feelings Tracie Miles

“…for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:5b (NIV)

I spent months working on it, with big expectations and high hopes. In the blink of an eye it was crushed. This reality tore into my heart like a jagged knife, ripping my dream into tiny little shreds. Disappointment was so great it was difficult to process my feelings. I had worked tirelessly on this project and now I felt disappointment and rejection.
Disappointment soon turned to irritation which morphed into resentment. I didn’t FEEL it was fair.
Why didn’t God answer my prayers? Why had He placed a dream in my heart only to allow it to crumble? Why had He let this happen? Why me?
I knew I needed to have a good attitude and not give up, but I did not FEEL like doing that at all!
Questions pummeled my brain. What is the use? Why try again? If God didn’t answer my prayer after all this time, why bother keep trying?
I allowed my FEELings to overtake my FAITH.
All I could think about was how this disappointment made me feel, instead of what God may be doing that my faith could not see. I felt things weren’t fair, without remembering God’s ways are best. I felt a longing for immediate results, instead of trusting God’s timing is perfect.
My feelings had gotten in the way of my faith, so I turned to Psalm 25 (NIV) for perspective. The following verses washed over my spirit.
Verse 1, “In you, LORD my God, I put my trust.”
I felt discouraged, unworthy, hopeless, rejected. So I poured my feelings and my soul out to God. And He listened.
Verse 2, “I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.”
God reminded me to trust Him, not a desire or a dream. Not the world’s view. Not my abilities. Not my timeframe. Not my ideas. Trust Him alone. I prayed about my enemies—intangible feelings such as self doubt, insecurity, frustration, and discouragement.
Verse 3, “No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.”
Regardless of whether or not my desires become a reality, I will not be put to shame, because God is my God. If His plans coincide with my dreams, I know He will keep His eternal promises.
Verses 4-5a, “Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me,”
These words stopped me in my tracks. I began to think more rationally. Why did I beat my head against a wall? Why was I consumed with anxiety and frustration? Was I allowing God to direct my paths? God gently reminded me He is the teacher, I am the student.
Verse 5b, “…for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”
If I put my hope in my own desires and abilities, I set myself up for failure. My only hope for joy and fulfillment comes from Christ alone. Hope is found in Him, not people, a career, your husband or children, church, financial success, a carefree life, or dreams that come true.
Disappointments will happen. With God, however, we can turn those disappointments into God’s appointments to trust Him. The first step is to exercise faith over feelings.

Dear Lord, You know the hurt in my heart and the sting of disappointments I have experienced. Please help me trust You, instead of being consumed by feelings. Empower me with a faith that is stronger than my emotions. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Disclaimer
*This is a post that I received via email from Proverbs 31 Ministries.  I did not write any of this post. I did however find this very comforting and encouraging today!