I have recently started reading the book "7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess". I have struggled with all that we have for many years and have blogged about it about a million times! I have always felt like we had too much. Not that having stuff is not okay...it is the stuff that takes over your life. The stuff that consumes your thoughts and your hopes and your dreams. Jen Hatmaker takes the excess to the extreme! She goes on a radical fast from excess for 7 months. As I have been reading, I am halfway through month 4, I realize that I have let stuff become my idol. I let it rule me. I am consumed with clothing, tv, facebook and the like.
What should I do about this?
I have had the overwhelming feeling that I should purge my house. This has been a feeling I have had for a while but honestly am afraid to start. There is so much stuff. I am by no means a hoarder, or even a collector of things. Our family of 5 just has more than we need.
As I think about purging my closet of clothes that no longer fit, you know those jeans that are two sizes too small that you just know one day you will wear again (keep dreaming!), or clear my pantry of all foods that have more than 5 ingredients on the label, or take every toy down to the homeless shelter for less fortunate boys and girls, I wonder what is it that I really must purge? Is it only physical? Is is spiritual?
As I mentioned in my last post the Lord is working on my heart. He is leading me down new paths. I talked about roadblocks that He clearly set up. What about the roadblocks that I have set up? What part do I have in all of this? What am I doing that is keeping me from doing what the Lord has planned for me?
I know that I have some physical things. I have set up some idols before Him. TV, Facebook, anything else that takes away time from my Savior. As the days pass and as I continue to purge the physical I pray that I am able to purge the spiritual. It will be messy at times, this I know for sure. But I know that the Lord is good and that He will be my Cornerstone in all of this. So bare with me! It may get crazy!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Roadblolcks
It's been a while. I have found myself consumed with life. I received my AA in Elementary Education and started my BS in Human Services 10 days later. The classes are shorter, a mere 5 weeks, and there is a lot more required of me. At the same time I had major surgery and have now been cleared to resume my normal work schedule. The kids still have school to get through and did I mention the house? Yes, the house. The place we live in that looks like we live in it! More so than I would like at times! All that and I am still a wife too. I have a loving husband that needs my attention!
Deep breath in......exhale.
God has been moving. I feel His Spirit prompting my thoughts and Troy and I have seen Him move mountains. Even with this I still feel a stirring in my spirit. I don't know what it is. Parts of me know. Then there are the parts that are so terrified that I dare not type it on a public blog for fear that I will be held accountable to my words.
Over the last year, I would say, the Lord has revealed big things to me. He has opened my eyes to His word. He has shown me His commands and I believe that I am now in a season that He wants me (and Troy) to act on them. I have been on fire. Ready to go. Wanting to do what He calls me to do but He has put up roadblocks. Literal roadblocks. He knows me all to well. He knows that I like to act without waiting on Him. So, He protects me. He blocks my path so that I can not screw up His plan.
There is so much I want to share. I am trying to will my fingers to type the words but alas, they will not. Lord, are you protecting me again? I know that soon I will share with you what He is doing.
As for now I will continue on the path with my Savior, waiting for Him to move the roadblocks and for His Holy Spirit to wave the flag allowing me to go forward.
Deep breath in......exhale.
God has been moving. I feel His Spirit prompting my thoughts and Troy and I have seen Him move mountains. Even with this I still feel a stirring in my spirit. I don't know what it is. Parts of me know. Then there are the parts that are so terrified that I dare not type it on a public blog for fear that I will be held accountable to my words.
Over the last year, I would say, the Lord has revealed big things to me. He has opened my eyes to His word. He has shown me His commands and I believe that I am now in a season that He wants me (and Troy) to act on them. I have been on fire. Ready to go. Wanting to do what He calls me to do but He has put up roadblocks. Literal roadblocks. He knows me all to well. He knows that I like to act without waiting on Him. So, He protects me. He blocks my path so that I can not screw up His plan.
There is so much I want to share. I am trying to will my fingers to type the words but alas, they will not. Lord, are you protecting me again? I know that soon I will share with you what He is doing.
As for now I will continue on the path with my Savior, waiting for Him to move the roadblocks and for His Holy Spirit to wave the flag allowing me to go forward.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
God is in the details
As you may or may not know I had a hysterectomy last week. This is something that I have known that I should do for a very long time. My doctor told me after I had Char that if my laparoscopy (that cleaned out the endometriosis) did not work then I would need to have a hysterectomy. This was a tough pill to swallow. I knew that we were done getting pregnant; just wasn't ready to take the plunge.
About 3 weeks ago I began having pain that was worse than normal. Something made me go to the ER. I did and found out that on top of the endometriosis I had fibroids on my uterus. I immediately broke down. I knew this was the end of the road. I knew that Dr. L would not let me go another month with this.
Sure enough 2 weeks later I had surgery. Before the surgery I prayed for peace in the decision. I knew God had other plans for us. I knew that this was best for my health. But I was just struggling with the decision. The day of surgery I woke up rested and at complete peace. This was the right thing to do.
Yesterday I received the pathology report from my surgery. The findings were significant for fibroids..duh. And then the big one I had "precancerous changes on my cervix". I froze. I couldn't move. I kept saying "What?" over and over again. Fear hit me immediately. I was reminded by a dear friend that I no longer had a cervix! They took it out!! And then she reminded me of how the Lord was in the details of this surgery. I went in for one thing but was potentially saved from something else.
I will still have to get tests done and she still wants to monitor me closely but I am so grateful that I had the surgery.
About 3 weeks ago I began having pain that was worse than normal. Something made me go to the ER. I did and found out that on top of the endometriosis I had fibroids on my uterus. I immediately broke down. I knew this was the end of the road. I knew that Dr. L would not let me go another month with this.
Sure enough 2 weeks later I had surgery. Before the surgery I prayed for peace in the decision. I knew God had other plans for us. I knew that this was best for my health. But I was just struggling with the decision. The day of surgery I woke up rested and at complete peace. This was the right thing to do.
Yesterday I received the pathology report from my surgery. The findings were significant for fibroids..duh. And then the big one I had "precancerous changes on my cervix". I froze. I couldn't move. I kept saying "What?" over and over again. Fear hit me immediately. I was reminded by a dear friend that I no longer had a cervix! They took it out!! And then she reminded me of how the Lord was in the details of this surgery. I went in for one thing but was potentially saved from something else.
I will still have to get tests done and she still wants to monitor me closely but I am so grateful that I had the surgery.
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