Monday, March 19, 2012

I should be writing a paper

but I am blogging instead!  God is so good.  He reminded me tonight of something..."Be still and know I am God".  The name of this blog is "Being Still".  He reminded me that He is in control and that He has already been there.  He told me tonight to "Be still". 

Yes, Lord.

I am not moving another inch.

These last couple of years have been hard but in the last 2 days I have heard so many people talk about God's provision in the lives of the Brown's.  It hit me tonight that through this all He is strengthening others.  He is teaching me how to persevere but He is allowing others to see who He is.

How cool is that?

We read about Simon this past weekend.  About obedience. About miracles performed. About glory that was witnessed by many.

We are like Simon.  We have hardship and the Lord says, "Here. Do this". If we obey and if we remain steadfast. He will sustain us and His glory will shine forever and ever.

To God be the Glory!!!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Why Lord?

I sit in my really comfy chair and look at pictures of children an entire world away that need a home. Children whom are being neglected. Children that would thrive.  I sit here reading about them. And I ask " Why Lord"?.

 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Update on 7 and other things

This week has not been great.  Since Troy lost his job I have been in a funk.  I know, I know, God has a plan. I am still frustrated and unsure.

Here are the positives:


  1. Troy got a raise and 40 hours a week at Lowe's
  2. Troy had 2 job interviews (at Lowe's) yesterday and it looks like one is very promising
  3. Troy has been able to spend some quality time with Jackson
  4. I have not blown 7. We are eating more healthy.
  5. I have not turned to food as my comfort
  6. I group of people (that I knew but did not do life with) has completely stepped up and is loving on the Brown's.
These are just a few.  I will post more about #6 on another day.  Troy and I feel a change and we are in prayer about #6.  

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Windows AND Doors

Yesterday Troy lost his job.  I was filled with frustration.  Not despair. Just frustration.  Later that evening I posted on Facebook that "Troy lost his job".  I was bombarded by well wishes, words of encouragement and offers of prayer.  I love my peeps!

One resounding theme was "God closes doors and will open a window".  We say this all the time. We even pray it. And it got me thinking. Is this biblical?  Does the very Word of God say, "I will close a door and then open a window.".  I searched and searched and can not find it in the Bible.  Kinda like, "God only gives you what you can handle". Really?  My friends could handle losing a child? The victims of hurricane Ike could handle not having food and water or shelter?

This post is not meant to upset anyone or even sound ungrateful for the thoughts and prayers that I have received.  It is to get us thinking.  To look in the Word for our encouragement, not to sayings that speak of God's character that turn out to be un-biblical.


Sunday, March 4, 2012

A new look to 7

Before I opened my eyes I prayed the words, "What is it that you want me to eat?". Only a mere 4 days ago I started the food fast for "7".  I have struggled adhering to it since day 1!  Why is that? Sterling was sure I was going to fail and drop out and to be honest I was too. 

The last few days I have been asking myself why am I doing this?  There has to be a really good reason.  I couldn't think of one.  Mrs. Hatmaker makes great strides when it comes to her fast from her favorite foods. Am I going to too? Then someone said to me, "Are you sure this is what you should be focused on right now?". 

I have been thinking about those words.  I will say that I have not adhered to my original list of foods but what I have done is make a change in my diet.  I have been pouring over blogs, looking up information on the internet, watching documentaries etc. I have been looking at how I abuse food instead of using it to nourish my body. 

So today when I prayed those 9 words I felt like the Lord was leading me on a different path than my original plan of "7".  I also realized that I NEVER prayed about the first plan!  I haven't talked to my partner about this yet but I will.  Instead of only eating seven foods for a month I am going to start by cutting out 7 unhealthy things that are in our diet.  I will be more conscience when I shop and will only buy foods that are meant to enrich our diets not fill us with empty calories. 

I have already ordered some organic products online which included some seeds for a garden.  Each year we try a garden and are never really successful.  This year I am committed to taking the time with my family to work on it.  Growing food to live not living for the food.

Here are some things that are starting on the list.  I don't know if I will only do 7 this month or if it will be more.  I also don't know how long this will go on...meaning how long I will keep cutting out products.  What I do know is that instead of throwing everything out and shocking my kids systems in one day I will slowly transition them.  So this will stick!

No Dye: Especially Red 40 and Yellow 6 (we have done this before, it is time to get back on track!)
No High Fructose Corn Syrup (it is in EVERYTHING!)
Only Organic fruits and veggies
No sugary cereal (cutting out dye and HFCS will take care of this!)
Only organic peanut butter
No preservatives 
Nothing with more than 5 ingredients (if the label has more than 5 we won't be buying it, unless it is like my cereal that I just bought.  It is an organic flax cereal with about 7 ingredients.  All of the ingredients are recognizable and good for you so I let it slide!)
Homemade bread- (I found out that most breads have more than 20 ingredients in them. I am going to try to make bread, we will see how that works.)

That is 8 items. Hopefully looking at food in a whole new way will help me to not abuse it.  Not to mention my family will be so much healthier!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The New Ride

Troy and I celebrated ten years of marriage yesterday! The last two years have been tough.  Yesterday, milestones were met and it felt good!

We are currently in the process of fixing major issues with our home.  Things that we have let slide because we just didn't have the funds to take care of them.  Right now we are getting new flooring, new windows and repairing our foundation. These are all HUGE things.  Troy said it best, "It feels like all the hard work is paying off."

Yesterday Troy came home early from work.  He stopped by the car lot to have a look and found something that was very affordable.  Now, let me start out by saying that he ALWAYS looks and there is NEVER anything affordable.  We have friends that get great deals all the time and we NEVER can find these deals.  About 3 years ago the Lord showed me that this was because it was not our time, yet.  So with yesterday's great deal we decided to go for it.  We knew that if it was meant to be that it would be and if not, like the thousand times before, God would shut the door.  Well, He blew it wide open. 

Troy bought a truck. He has wanted a full size, new to him, truck for so long.  He has worked 7 days a week and has handed over every penny to the "Brown Family Fund".  We have not been able to do anything extra with our money.  We have used it to get by and we were doing poorly at that! Yesterday I was able to write a check and trade a car and he was able to drive off the lot in truck!

As a wife, it felt good to see my husband do something like that.  There are parts of me that really wanted to get a family vehicle.  Parts that are a bit envious of his new ride. But the part that is happy that he is happy is much bigger. We still will need to get a family car.  My children have been blessed with really long legs and at almost 9 and 6 they are already running out of room in our little Honda.  Plus I have plans for that car....for someone else.  I know the right family car will come along and like yesterday, God will blow the door open and there will be a way.

I keep thinking of the words that He spoke to me, "Don't look to man. Look to Me." My eyes are upward, Lord.  Thank you for your faithfulness to Troy and I. Thank you for your provision in our lives, even when it was not as abundant as we would have wished.  It was always enough.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Denying Self-It ain't easy!

Day 1 of "7" was hard!  Hard only because I just wanted STARCH!  Anything. As long as it was covered in salt!  I made it to dinner and right before we sat down I secretly grabbed a handful of potato chips and ate them alone.

 By myself.

Without interruption.

This is my problem!  I like to eat just as much as the next big girl.  But I really like to eat when no one is watching.  It is hard to do when you have 3 kids.  I find my self starting the washer so that the kids can't hear the rustling bag in the kitchen.  I go through the drive-thru and shove it all down in the 3 minutes it takes to get home so that no one knows what I have done.  It is a sickness.

I have read books, dieted, and even prayed that I would be skinny.  The truth is, only I can control this food addiction. (Insert awkward Kum-by-ya (sp?) circle and introductions). I am a food addict.  I live to eat...not eat to live.  I have always done it.  Even when I was a teenager and weighed 100 lbs less than I do now.  My metabolism has finally caught up to me and now you all know I have a problem I can't hide it anymore.  My physical being is reflecting my inner being.

As soon as something does not go my way or I feel the least bit stressed I turn to the one that will never let me down. Food. The thing is food is not satisfying.  It never fills that void.  It fills my stomach and almost always gives me chronic GERD. I am abusing my body, the one thing that keeps me here on Earth. So I do it in private so the rest of you don't know I do it.

Who am I fooling? No one.

My accountability partner in all of this was very disappointed when I told her about my slip.  She is worried I won't last.  To be honest, I am worried too.  Yesterday I said I would rely on my Comforter instead of food but today I am not so sure.  I guess letting everyone know that I am a food abuser is a good start.

Food Abuser. That is what it is really.  I can say addict, but really I am abusing food and my body. Plain and simple.

So there it is.  Wow, I can't believe I just put that out there!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

"7"

I think I mentioned that I am reading, "7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess".  This week, March 1st to be exact, I started the experiment with my friend Sterling.  We are starting with Jen's month 1.  Food.  We can only eat 7 things for the month of March.  Let me just say this fast is not something that Jen says everyone should do.  She tried it and God took her to great places with it!

So 7 foods! This is what I picked...there are 8...don't judge!

Chicken
Apples
Peanut Butter
Total cereal (with milk)
Carrots
Cucumbers
Rice

These are what I picked.  Did I mention I have two weddings AND a rehearsal dinner this month!!!! Geesh!  I am very black and white so this could get a bit sticky...

I was thinking about this fast this morning as I was getting ready to eat my cereal (which by the way ended up being rice krispies). I weighed myself first thing this morning and while making breakfast I thought about the weight I could lose.  I immediately had to catch myself. 

This is not a diet!

It's not.  But I know that if I make better choices and don't allow food to be my comfort but allow the Lord to be my Comforter than subsequently I will be more healthy and my pants will fit!

*Just a side note-I am on month 5 in the book "7". I am also in the midst of clearing out rooms for brand new carpet tomorrow.  Talk about EXCESS!  I am going to be in prayer about what needs to go and what can go back into the rooms.  I have a feeling we will be letting go of a lot of JUNK!!