It's Official

We are moving.  We are about 98% sure we know where; just not when.  God is moving we know this for sure.  We are just waiting patiently on Him.  I had meltdown yesterday when I began to think about the move. 

1. I don't want to leave my house.  I like it here.  We bought this house because we chose it; not cause we were desperate.
2. I don't like someone else dictating when I have to leave.
3. I don't want Troy to be looking for jobs in areas outside of Katy or even Texas!!!!
4. I don't want to count other's opinions more than my own. But I do.

That last one is not about the move but it is something that is affecting me too.  Yesterday was a whirlwind. It is amazing how the enemy will use whatever he can to get a hold of you. I have been doing so well and he used something I totally did not expect to put me in a tailspin that I was not able to get out of. 

But as the psalmist says, "The Lord gives us new mercies every morning" today is a new day.  I can't wait to spend it with fellow believers.  I can't wait to hear the Word of God from the pulpit and to participate in corporate worship.

As I finish I leave you with this picture.  Ellie being baptized.  Heaven rejoices and so do I.  This is what matters!

Clinging to the Cross

Last week we sang the old hymn "The Old Rugged Cross".  I remember day that we would pull out our hymnals and go through the motion singing this song.  It was boring and there were a lot of versus.  Now at a church that sings these old hymns in a more contemporary way I have found them to be a bit more interesting.

Back to last week.  On Sunday we sang this song and it had a totally different meaning to me.  Like I said before I was breaking. I literally could not bare anymore.  This song spoke to me.  I felt the Holy Spirit whispering, "Just cling to the cross". That is what I have done all week.  Anytime my mind wonders and I find myself in an unhealthy thinking pattern this song pops in my head.

Thank you, Lord.  Thank you for that old rugged cross that I can cling to and can find comfort in!  You have won. There is victory in it.

1. On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
   The emblem of suff’ring and shame;
   And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
   For a world of lost sinners was slain.
   • Refrain:
     So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
     Till my trophies at last I lay down;
     I will cling to the old rugged cross,
     And exchange it some day for a crown.
2. Oh, that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
   Has a wondrous attraction for me;
   For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above
   To bear it to dark Calvary.
3. In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
   A wondrous beauty I see,
   For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
   To pardon and sanctify me.
4. To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
   Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
   Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away,
   Where His glory forever I’ll share.

God Clothes Us...........

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:25-34

Yesterday we had a little ding-dong-ditch at our home.  My children (and I) were incredibly blessed by a good samaritan.  I know who it was...but I also know they want to remain nameless..this is what I love about them.  They give without ever wanting glory.  The give because they are obedient to the Lord.  You see, the other day Troy was mentioning to a friend how the kids have outgrown their clothes. He mentioned that I was headed to the local thrift store to try to find something for them.  (BTW I found a few things but was not very successful.  Although I did happen upon shoes for both Ellie and Jackson and that was much needed). This family heard the need and provided in a huge way.  

My girls were so excited!  The even did a fashion show.  I would love to post pics and may do that later today.  So thank you to the family that did that for us.  You are a blessing to us but more importantly I know you will be blessed because of your obedience.  

 

Timing

We all know that God's timing is impeccable but I have to just say it again! 

WOW!!!

My post the other day was me letting go.  I typed out all of that and in that moment I let it all go.  I cast all my cares upon Him.  Not an hour after I posted it I got a call. It was a friend that I have not seen in a while.  She asked if she could stop by a minute.  Of course! (My house was a mess but she has been here before and the rule is I only clean for you once...then you get to see the real me!). So she showed up and she sat down and began to tell me about a family home that has been sitting empty.  She had made some calls and she wanted to know if we would be interested in staying there til we could get back on our feet. 

WHAT?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?!?

I didn't cry...yet! We asked about rent and the price was exactly what Troy and I have talked about (when talking about a reasonable budget). Then I cried.  I knew that the Lord knew what we could afford and that He was going to provide that for us.  We went to go and look at the home.  On the way there I prayed thanking God for an option.  This is the way we are looking at this. 

*I have spent too many months trying to manipulate scenarios into God's plan.  The littlest thing would happen and I would think 'This is God.  I know it is. It will work'. Not everything in life is God's will. So I couldn't go back to that.  I couldn't assume this was God's will.  But what I did know is that this was not coincidence. God was showing me that we had options.  

We looked at the house.  It needs work.  The kind that Troy and I can do and with a Lowe's discount; cheaply.  By the end, our potential landlord had lowered the rent by 50% if we would help with some projects around the house.

Troy and I were in shock.  We left with a promise to pray about it and then to get back to her. We don't know what God has in store.  A couple of friends have offered to help pack and even help move.  All things we may need.  I just don't know if it is time, yet.  Like I said; we are going to wait for the Lord to move us.  We are going to wait for His perfect timing.  What I do know is that if that house is where we should be then "it will be there when we get there".  A little line that Troy always says and something the Lord said to me.  There are so many other factors going on now.  We honestly can't make a decision yet. 

God is working.  I know He is.  He provided an envelope of cash for us yesterday.  Right when we needed pull-ups, gas and kitty litter.  You know the important stuff! It may sound trivial to you but God cares about those things and He shows us that with His timing!

Finding Bottom

Wow!  That is all I can say.  It has been months since I have posted and so much has happened.  I struggle to know if I should share the events one-by-one or just give you glimpses.  Too be honest there are so many things that I may bore you with a 10 page post.

This blog was set up as a way for me to share the journey of my faith-walk.  I think I will just start there.

We have been struggling financially and I have really tried hard to change that.  I have worked countless hours, I have fought with my husband to look for another job, I have sold items in my home, I have looked for another home, I have manipulated, I have even resorted to asking the government for help.  It has been utterly exhausting.  The burden is heavy.  I cannot continue to carry it any longer.

A dear friend of mine told me that I was going to have to hit bottom before I would be able to give all of that up.  Really hand it over to God.  So many times we say that we are giving something to the Lord and we take it back. We don't trust Him.  We think that He can't do it or that we can do it better.

"Just let me handle this" we say.

So for the last year this is what I have done.  I have given it over and I have taken it back.  God isn't fast enough for me.  Just tell me the plan. He is taking too long.  I know what is best!!!

The Lord loves me and He is slow to anger, I know because His Word says so.  Instead of striking me down He began to make life uncomfortable.  He began to take away things that I cherish most.  He changed relationships that I cherished.  He took away more and more income.  Finally, He took away my home.  The last thing on the list.  He took it.

I have found the bottom.  I cannot go any lower.  The weight of all of those things is so heavy that I may just break...wait...I am broken.

The Lord is strong, He is wise and He is good.  He broke me and immediately gave me a hand.  He met me where I was.  He said, "you may not have trusted Me, but I still love you". He showed me that I had been looking to others for answers and not Him.  I had been looking to others to help me and support me and not Him. All the while He was there. He was waiting with open arms.  Ready to take the load off of my shoulders and carry the burden for me.

I have literally cried for two days.  There are many reasons.  One: I am so overwhelmed by the graciousness of my father. Two: life is still happening and now I know that I really can't control it! Three: There is a big chapter in my life that I know is coming to a close.  This saddens me.  I will admit I am resistant to change!

In a nutshell that is it!  I know there is more that I can say but that is what I feel led to share today! Hope you all will find some encouragement in this today.

Receiving Wisdom

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have been trying to lean on the Lord to be my comfort.  I have not always succeeded at that. One thing that I have been doing more of is leaning on His Word.  He gives us this awesome book that is all from Him.  I don't know why I have not used it as much  as I could!

I have been doing a bible study with a sweet group of women.  We are studying Proverbs.  Wisdom has been the theme for the last couple of weeks.  Wisdom is a gift.  A gift that we can all have if we truly look for it. 

The Lord has allowed me to go through some hard stuff since starting this study.  He is holding me accountable to His Word.  He wants to see how I will use the knowledge and wisdom He has been giving me. 

There have been times that I have failed. Like letting a friend that I knew needed a shoulder to cry on leave instead of inviting her to stay.  Like allowing my own pride get in the way when I knew that I had to take care of a situation.

How did He respond?

Grace.

Mercy.

I was able to have a second chance at lending an ear and a shoulder. I was right where I needed to be and was open and willing to letting the Lord use me.  He did and we both walked away feeling better. I was able to confront a situation that was difficult but was given every word to say by the Holy Spirit. 

I love that when we mess up...He gives us a second chance.  The people around us may not always know that but we do. 

There is so much more to tell and I will be blogging more.  I know that when I read a blog I like the shorter ones over the looooooong ones! :)

I should be writing a paper

but I am blogging instead!  God is so good.  He reminded me tonight of something..."Be still and know I am God".  The name of this blog is "Being Still".  He reminded me that He is in control and that He has already been there.  He told me tonight to "Be still". 

Yes, Lord.

I am not moving another inch.

These last couple of years have been hard but in the last 2 days I have heard so many people talk about God's provision in the lives of the Brown's.  It hit me tonight that through this all He is strengthening others.  He is teaching me how to persevere but He is allowing others to see who He is.

How cool is that?

We read about Simon this past weekend.  About obedience. About miracles performed. About glory that was witnessed by many.

We are like Simon.  We have hardship and the Lord says, "Here. Do this". If we obey and if we remain steadfast. He will sustain us and His glory will shine forever and ever.

To God be the Glory!!!