Timing

We all know that God's timing is impeccable but I have to just say it again! 

WOW!!!

My post the other day was me letting go.  I typed out all of that and in that moment I let it all go.  I cast all my cares upon Him.  Not an hour after I posted it I got a call. It was a friend that I have not seen in a while.  She asked if she could stop by a minute.  Of course! (My house was a mess but she has been here before and the rule is I only clean for you once...then you get to see the real me!). So she showed up and she sat down and began to tell me about a family home that has been sitting empty.  She had made some calls and she wanted to know if we would be interested in staying there til we could get back on our feet. 

WHAT?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?!?

I didn't cry...yet! We asked about rent and the price was exactly what Troy and I have talked about (when talking about a reasonable budget). Then I cried.  I knew that the Lord knew what we could afford and that He was going to provide that for us.  We went to go and look at the home.  On the way there I prayed thanking God for an option.  This is the way we are looking at this. 

*I have spent too many months trying to manipulate scenarios into God's plan.  The littlest thing would happen and I would think 'This is God.  I know it is. It will work'. Not everything in life is God's will. So I couldn't go back to that.  I couldn't assume this was God's will.  But what I did know is that this was not coincidence. God was showing me that we had options.  

We looked at the house.  It needs work.  The kind that Troy and I can do and with a Lowe's discount; cheaply.  By the end, our potential landlord had lowered the rent by 50% if we would help with some projects around the house.

Troy and I were in shock.  We left with a promise to pray about it and then to get back to her. We don't know what God has in store.  A couple of friends have offered to help pack and even help move.  All things we may need.  I just don't know if it is time, yet.  Like I said; we are going to wait for the Lord to move us.  We are going to wait for His perfect timing.  What I do know is that if that house is where we should be then "it will be there when we get there".  A little line that Troy always says and something the Lord said to me.  There are so many other factors going on now.  We honestly can't make a decision yet. 

God is working.  I know He is.  He provided an envelope of cash for us yesterday.  Right when we needed pull-ups, gas and kitty litter.  You know the important stuff! It may sound trivial to you but God cares about those things and He shows us that with His timing!

Finding Bottom

Wow!  That is all I can say.  It has been months since I have posted and so much has happened.  I struggle to know if I should share the events one-by-one or just give you glimpses.  Too be honest there are so many things that I may bore you with a 10 page post.

This blog was set up as a way for me to share the journey of my faith-walk.  I think I will just start there.

We have been struggling financially and I have really tried hard to change that.  I have worked countless hours, I have fought with my husband to look for another job, I have sold items in my home, I have looked for another home, I have manipulated, I have even resorted to asking the government for help.  It has been utterly exhausting.  The burden is heavy.  I cannot continue to carry it any longer.

A dear friend of mine told me that I was going to have to hit bottom before I would be able to give all of that up.  Really hand it over to God.  So many times we say that we are giving something to the Lord and we take it back. We don't trust Him.  We think that He can't do it or that we can do it better.

"Just let me handle this" we say.

So for the last year this is what I have done.  I have given it over and I have taken it back.  God isn't fast enough for me.  Just tell me the plan. He is taking too long.  I know what is best!!!

The Lord loves me and He is slow to anger, I know because His Word says so.  Instead of striking me down He began to make life uncomfortable.  He began to take away things that I cherish most.  He changed relationships that I cherished.  He took away more and more income.  Finally, He took away my home.  The last thing on the list.  He took it.

I have found the bottom.  I cannot go any lower.  The weight of all of those things is so heavy that I may just break...wait...I am broken.

The Lord is strong, He is wise and He is good.  He broke me and immediately gave me a hand.  He met me where I was.  He said, "you may not have trusted Me, but I still love you". He showed me that I had been looking to others for answers and not Him.  I had been looking to others to help me and support me and not Him. All the while He was there. He was waiting with open arms.  Ready to take the load off of my shoulders and carry the burden for me.

I have literally cried for two days.  There are many reasons.  One: I am so overwhelmed by the graciousness of my father. Two: life is still happening and now I know that I really can't control it! Three: There is a big chapter in my life that I know is coming to a close.  This saddens me.  I will admit I am resistant to change!

In a nutshell that is it!  I know there is more that I can say but that is what I feel led to share today! Hope you all will find some encouragement in this today.

Receiving Wisdom

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have been trying to lean on the Lord to be my comfort.  I have not always succeeded at that. One thing that I have been doing more of is leaning on His Word.  He gives us this awesome book that is all from Him.  I don't know why I have not used it as much  as I could!

I have been doing a bible study with a sweet group of women.  We are studying Proverbs.  Wisdom has been the theme for the last couple of weeks.  Wisdom is a gift.  A gift that we can all have if we truly look for it. 

The Lord has allowed me to go through some hard stuff since starting this study.  He is holding me accountable to His Word.  He wants to see how I will use the knowledge and wisdom He has been giving me. 

There have been times that I have failed. Like letting a friend that I knew needed a shoulder to cry on leave instead of inviting her to stay.  Like allowing my own pride get in the way when I knew that I had to take care of a situation.

How did He respond?

Grace.

Mercy.

I was able to have a second chance at lending an ear and a shoulder. I was right where I needed to be and was open and willing to letting the Lord use me.  He did and we both walked away feeling better. I was able to confront a situation that was difficult but was given every word to say by the Holy Spirit. 

I love that when we mess up...He gives us a second chance.  The people around us may not always know that but we do. 

There is so much more to tell and I will be blogging more.  I know that when I read a blog I like the shorter ones over the looooooong ones! :)

I should be writing a paper

but I am blogging instead!  God is so good.  He reminded me tonight of something..."Be still and know I am God".  The name of this blog is "Being Still".  He reminded me that He is in control and that He has already been there.  He told me tonight to "Be still". 

Yes, Lord.

I am not moving another inch.

These last couple of years have been hard but in the last 2 days I have heard so many people talk about God's provision in the lives of the Brown's.  It hit me tonight that through this all He is strengthening others.  He is teaching me how to persevere but He is allowing others to see who He is.

How cool is that?

We read about Simon this past weekend.  About obedience. About miracles performed. About glory that was witnessed by many.

We are like Simon.  We have hardship and the Lord says, "Here. Do this". If we obey and if we remain steadfast. He will sustain us and His glory will shine forever and ever.

To God be the Glory!!!

Why Lord?

I sit in my really comfy chair and look at pictures of children an entire world away that need a home. Children whom are being neglected. Children that would thrive.  I sit here reading about them. And I ask " Why Lord"?.

 

Update on 7 and other things

This week has not been great.  Since Troy lost his job I have been in a funk.  I know, I know, God has a plan. I am still frustrated and unsure.

Here are the positives:

1. Troy got a raise and 40 hours a week at Lowe's
2. Troy had 2 job interviews (at Lowe's) yesterday and it looks like one is very promising
3. Troy has been able to spend some quality time with Jackson
4. I have not blown 7. We are eating more healthy.
5. I have not turned to food as my comfort
6. I group of people (that I knew but did not do life with) has completely stepped up and is loving on the Brown's.

These are just a few.  I will post more about #6 on another day.  Troy and I feel a change and we are in prayer about #6.  

Windows AND Doors

Yesterday Troy lost his job.  I was filled with frustration.  Not despair. Just frustration.  Later that evening I posted on Facebook that "Troy lost his job".  I was bombarded by well wishes, words of encouragement and offers of prayer.  I love my peeps!

One resounding theme was "God closes doors and will open a window".  We say this all the time. We even pray it. And it got me thinking. Is this biblical?  Does the very Word of God say, "I will close a door and then open a window.".  I searched and searched and can not find it in the Bible.  Kinda like, "God only gives you what you can handle". Really?  My friends could handle losing a child? The victims of hurricane Ike could handle not having food and water or shelter?

This post is not meant to upset anyone or even sound ungrateful for the thoughts and prayers that I have received.  It is to get us thinking.  To look in the Word for our encouragement, not to sayings that speak of God's character that turn out to be un-biblical.