Why Lord?

I sit in my really comfy chair and look at pictures of children an entire world away that need a home. Children whom are being neglected. Children that would thrive.  I sit here reading about them. And I ask " Why Lord"?.

 

Sad...an update

The little girl that I wrote about yesterday, the one the Lord used to break my heart, is no longer available. A family has found her. A family that is in the process of their homestudy.  I am greatly saddened that she will not be ours but I am overjoyed that she is going to have a forever family.  Only the Lord knows the plans for her and for us.

For I know the plans for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm plans to give you HOPE and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

Life Changing

I had a moment of panic over the Thanksgiving holiday.  The Lord has called us to something HUGE!  I mean life changing, people may not understand, this is gonna cost a ton of money, HUGE! The thing is He called us in the middle of this foreclosure and transition time with jobs.  It makes no sense.  Well, at least not to us!

Over the last several months the Lord has broken our hearts for what breaks His. He has shown us the immoral acts against children in this world.  He has shown us the orphan that is not being cared for.  He has called Troy and I to do something about it.  At this moment we are looking into international adoption.  More so a really large country in Europe that I won't name at this time. He has put a beautiful little girl on our hearts that has an extra chromosome.  Because of this she is unwanted.  But the Lord reminds us that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. She is older, 6 to be exact.  She has never had a Mommy or Daddy.  Who knows if she has ever felt love. This is a large step of faith for us.  This is going to cost more money than Troy makes in a year.  So how can we do this?

As soon as we felt like this is where we should go I began researching.  Y'all let me just tell you the cost of the adoption is really  a ransom.  That is what I have come to understand.  There are fees every which way and they are at times ridiculous, but they are necessary to free her from a life without love and affection from parents and siblings. As I called agencies and talked to others about all of this I was immediately overwhelmed.  The reality set in that we would have to wait until our house situation was settled.  Surprisingly we make more than enough money to qualify for adoption in her country, we just need to have some things sorted out first to show stability.

She will have to wait.  She has been waiting for almost 7 years. My heart breaks.

I confronted my sweet husband with my sadness this past week.  I am sad because she may not still be there when we are ready.  She is waiting and we are just sitting here. Well, not really but it sure feels that way.  What to do? I blamed my sweet hubby for this all.  I said he didn't really want her and that is why we were at a stalemate. Then with love and tenderness he directed me to the real reason we were waiting.  It wasn't finances, it wasn't our house, it wasn't the car that only fits 5, it wasn't his job.  It was God that we were waiting for.  He had broken our hearts and had given us a face.  He just hasn't said "Go".

Each day I look at her picture.  Making sure she is still available.  She is. Hopefully for us but it could be for another reason.  This path is so uncertain to us that it can be completely overwhelming.  As I stated in my post yesterday; I am going to rely on the Lord because I just mess it all up when I try to fix it.  So if you think about it pray for us and the sweet little girl thousands of miles away without a Mommy and Daddy.

Decisions

Hey friends. I just thought I would make a quick post.  Nothing too exciting going on.  The Lord is still working on me but I don't have much to say about it right now.  This last week I struggled with pain from endometriosis.  The pain was a bit extreme from what it normally is.  I have been advised to have a partial hysterectomy and I believe that now I am finally ready to take the plunge.  This decision is huge.  It means no matter what I will not bear a child ever again.  I will no longer have a womb.  The implications of that are HUGE! I feel peace about it though.  I am confident that we are done "giving birth" to children, not done having children! I really feel like the Lord is going to grow our little family of 5 into something bigger but that they are going to come from somewhere else.  This is exciting to me.  The anticipation is a bit maddening at times but I am confident in the Lord. He has a perfect plan!

Want a Quilt? A fundraiser for ADOPTION!

My best friend, Mindy, is adopting a sweet sweet boy in a couple of weeks. He is so precious.  His name is "Frank" but it will soon be Henry.  He is only 2 months old and his parents are here on work visa's.  They love little "Frank" but you see he has Down Syndrome.  In China, people who are a little different are not accepted.  He will never be allowed to go to school.  He will not be allowed to be seen in public.  His birth parents love him so much they are willing to give him to a family that will love him and give him the best life! 

Adoption costs money.  The Lord called and the Churchill's said "YES!". They didn't know how they would raise the funds but the Lord does. So right now you can check out their fundraiser.  Mindy is an awesome quilter!  Please check out her blog.  You can win one of 4 quilts!!!!  I LOVE those odds!  I have one of her quilts and let me tell you....I LOVE IT!!!! 

Thank you for considering!!!

Break my Heart for What Breaks Yours

I am broken hearted.  I am burdened.  I am so very very sad. 

This world is filled with millions of orphans.  Whether they are in the United States of far off in a land that you have never been. They are there. Their nationality is irrelevant.

What is like to never feel love? What is it like to never feel the human touch for anything other than a quick diaper change and a feeding? What is like to be made to stay in your bed for 24 hours a day? What is like to cry and have no one to respond?  What is it like to not know hope?  To not know that Jesus loves you?

These are things that are happening. Right now. This hour. This minute as you read my post.

Yesterday I broke down.  The thought of Celine going to an institution because no one will answer the call of the Lord and adopt her.Or Kennedy and Danielle who have already transferred to an institution. How can this be happening?

It hit me that if these feelings of sadness were this overwhelming for me, how did my Heavenly Father feel?  These babies are made in His own image.  How does He feel when He sees them sinned against on a daily basis? What about those that do not get to be adopted? Those that go to die a slow painful death in an institution somewhere. 

Then I remembered something that He taught me on Sunday.  He is Omniscient.  He knows all that was, is and will come!  He has a plan.  Some of these children will not be saved. But many of them will.  I don't know if it will be me or if it is YOU. 

But what I do know is that the Lord has broken my heart for what breaks His. I beg you to ask Him to do the same thing. What will you do to help these orphans? Please look at Reece's Rainbow.  Please consider adoption. Just look at the faces.  Don't look or think about the dollar amounts.  God has unlimited funds.