"Do not look to man"

Yesterday I was watching Daystar.  If you don't know it is a Christian channel that has various preachers and evangelists on it.  I was watching the last part of Joyce Meyer, who by the way is HI-LAR-I-OUS!!  Anyway.  Another preacher came on and he began to share an awesome testimony of God's provision.  He was talking about God's currency and how He is the Banker.  How there are no limits.  He shared how God had used him in Africa to teach about the Lord's abundance.  He also said some things that shot straight to my heart.  Things that I felt were directed right at me. I was in tears listening to this man. 

Then it happened.  He asked that the viewer give the amount that God was laying on their heart right then to Daystar.  He said that he would pray the "100 Fold Prayer" over it and that I, the viewer, would receive my gift back 100 fold.  I sat there listening and as he talked and told more stories of how this prayer worked in the past I became discouraged. I was discouraged because the Lord was not giving me an amount to give.  I kept trying to think of an amount.  The man on TV was encouraging you to put the donation on your credit card.  He was saying that the more you gave the more you would get back.  I wanted to change the channel and then as if he was reading my mind he said "There are some of you that want to change the channel.  DON'T!  The Lord is going to bless you 100 fold".  Eventually I got up and left the room. I went into my closet.  I got down on my knees and cried out to the Lord.

"Why don't you want me to be blessed by this?  I thought you wanted to show me your abundance?  Please just give me a number and I will give it!  I need this Lord." By the end of this my face was flat on the floor and the carpet was wet with my tears.  Before I got up the Lord whispered something to me, "Do not look to man but look to me for abundance".  I was instantly at peace. 

You see I have received a promise from the Lord. One that is exciting.  And in my own flawed human-ness I am looking for the fulfillment anywhere I can find it.  It was a good lesson for me.  I do not doubt that the Lord will bless me or anyone else 100 fold.  And it is very possible that He could have given me an amount to give to  Daystar.  But my heart was not in the right place.  Thankfully the Lord showed me the error of my ways and I was able to be blessed by that alone yesterday. 

There are many changes coming.  I can feel them with every fiber of my being.  I believe they will all be good and I also believe that some of them will be radical.  I believe that the Lord is going to do things that make everything that has happened these last few years seem so insignificant.  I am excited!